ACT 1 – OKSANA
SFX: Banging inside portaloo.
Darren: Hello? Anybody out there?
SFX: Banging.
SFX: Phone ringing.
Mobile phone voice message: Hello, this is Oksana. Please leave a message and I’ll call you back. Mwaa!
SFX: Message prompt beep.
Darren: Oksana, can you call me please asap. I... miss you.
SFX: Phone ringing.
Oksana: Hello!
Darren: Ah, Oks, why don't you ever pick up?
Oksana: Because I can see your name on the screen.
Darren: Look, I’m on a toilet
Oksana: That’s amazing Darren. Thanks for sharing.
Darren: Actually, it's a port-a-loo.
Oksana: Even more amazing.
Darren: Uh, I think some kids have locked me in here.
SFX: Darren shakes the door.
Oksana: Have you been drinking?
Darren: What? No, just coffee.
SFX: Airport
Female voice through PA system: Passengers for flight LH9769…
Darren: Where are you?
Oksana: I’m the airport. I’m going home…. I told you.
Darren: I didn't think you were serious!
Oksana: That’s why I’m leaving you!
Darren: Because I didn’t think you were serious?
Oksana: No! Because you never listen. You didn't listen when I said I was homesick. You didn’t listen when I said you work so much I feel like I’m living alone. You didn't listen when your mom needed your help.
Darren: I'm listening now.
Oksana: Only because you want me to help you. I'm going through customs and have to turn off my phone.
Darren: What about us?
Oksana: There is no more us. There hasn't been any 'us' for a long time. Bye Darren.
Darren: Wait! Wait! Before you go, Oksana, because – Ok? Oki? Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhh! Alright, I’ll just – yep. Mmmmm.
SFX: Banging and kicking.
Darren: Alright, I’ll just – yep. Mmmmm.
SFX: Banging.
ACT 2 - MUM
SFX: Phone ringing.
Darren's Mum: Hello!
Darren: Oh, hi Mum, it's Darren.
Mum: I know, silly, your name comes up on the phone.
Darren: How are you?
Mum: I'm okay. Still a bit sore after the operation, but it went well.
Darren: What? I thought it was next week!
Mum: No, it was last week… The day after my birthday.
Darren: Oh, sorry Mum. I didn't know.
Mum: I didn't expect you to remember. I don't think you've ever called me on my birthday.
Darren: That's not true.
Mum: Well, at least not since your father died. He'd always remind you.
Darren (guilty): Is, um, I mean is your leg okay?
Mum: They removed the screws, but now it's infected.
Darren: Well, I can pick you up from the hospital?
Mum: Oksana picked me up yesterday.
Darren: What? Did - did you know she's going back to Lithuania? Like, now?
Mum: Hmm. You should really been going back there with her.
Darren: I know.
Mum: Where are you? I can hear an echo.
Darren: Oh, you're on speaker phone.
Mum: Sounds like you're in a tunnel.
Darren: No, I'm kind of in the middle of something.
Mum: Is there anything I can do?
SFX: Phone beeps signal another call.
Darren: Uhm, hold on a sec.
Darren (hopeful): Hi, Darren speaking.
Female Voice: Hi Darren, this is Celia from Guide Dogs Australia. Are you familiar with our work?
Darren: Yeah, you help blind people. Bye.
SFX: Darren switches calls.
Darren: Hi, Mum?
Mum: Was that Oksana?
Darren: No.
Mum: Oh. Well, why don't you give Ronny a call? Go out somewhere and take your mind off things.
Darren: Okay. I'll – I’ll try come and see you later.
Mum: Hope you're not working today, darling. Make sure you get out and enjoy some fresh air.
Darren: Yeah I'll try. Bye Mum.
Mum: Bye love.
SFX: Beep.
SFX: Darren sighs.
ACT 3 - RONNY
SFX: Phone ringing.
Ronny: Ronny speaking.
Darren: Hey, glad you picked up. Did, did, um – did you know Oksana was leaving the country?
Ronny: Yeah, yeah, I was at her farewell party. So, that was a decent clue.
Darren: What? When was that? Why were you there?
Ronny: Just dropped in to say goodbye.
Darren: Nice. You're meant to be my friend, not hers.
Ronny: Hmm, yes, yes, yes. I am meant to be your best friend. But not according to Oksana. She told me you said I'm your 2nd best friend… After Corey.
Darren: That's not true.
Ronny: Corey said you told him that too.
Darren: When?
Ronny: At the party.
Darren: What was he doing there?
Ronny: Mm, he dropped in.
Darren: Who else was there?
Ronny: Everyone. Well, everyone except you.
Darren: Right. Anyway, I just - I need your help, mate, I'm stuck in a port-a-loo.
Ronny: Ha! Yeah, I know.
Darren: How do you know?
Ronny: Oksana told me.
Darren: When?
Ronny: I'm at the airport.
Darren: Doing what?
Female voice through PA system: This is a final boarding call for flight LA 189 to Lithuania.
Ronny: Ah, sorry you had find out this way… We've gotta get on the plane.
Darren: You what? Wait! Ronny!
Ronny: We’ve gotta get on the plane. Hahaha…
Darren: Heeey! You! Ahhhhhh!
SFX: Banging and kicking inside the port-a-loo. Then silence. Some sniffling. Ronny blows his nose.
FINAL CALL
SFX: Phone ringing.
Darren's Mum’s mobile phone voice message: Hi! Please leave me a message and I’ll call you back.
SFX: Beep.
Darren: Hi Mum, it's Darren. I’m gonna come and visit you. I just… I might be a while.
SFX: Beep.
SFX: Darren sighs.